Nightmares

I wonder if it's a sign of character or common sense, of devotion to ones self or desperation of one's soul that brings upon the nightmares that don't just scare you in your sleep but haunt you the following days.

I think the stress of life caught up with my dreams last night. I'd been doing pretty well with the lack of scariness and falling down elevator shafts. For those of you who don't know I am afraid of elevators that are in buildings taller than like 6 stories. I will get in them for some reason, but I pretend there's not as many floors. Anyway, I havent had those dreams lately which is good.

However last night I had the nightmare within a nightmare within a nightmare. Nothing extremely scary was happening. I think their was a creepy man and somehow I ended up outside at night in my pajamas chasing something (not entirely false because I do go out there to chase the dogs some nights). Anyway, they were the dreams that you wake up within another and then another and it all seems to be real and you wake up for real, have to convince your muscles they aren't paralyzed and you gotta get up to walk around so the sweat dries from your clothes or you just change clothes. I walked around trying to figure out what was real and what wasn't.

See the last few days I have been worried more than usual. I'm short for rent. My bills are piling up and I don't see a break in sight. I had to share my deep dark secret with another person today and had to build up the courage again. I didn't want to but it's never good to hide things. Then my mother broke her leg on Friday and I came home yesterday to help her. We went to the doctor today and she gets to have surgery on Wednesday. What a Thanksgiving! My cousin invited me to a birthday party and who knows if i can afford it. I know it would be fun. ::Sigh::

Life's not bad, just chaotic right now. My dad is so stressed out about everything I'm afraid he might just break down and crumble into pieces and the wind will just pick him up and float him away. I have to walk on egg shells or have felt I have lately. I dont know. I just don't know.

Some prayers for my parents would be nice. Again, I don't care what sort of God or thing you pray to, Happy thoughts for someone can't hurt.

SADNESS

Alright, my life is in shambles right now and I realized we all stopped this awesome blogging idea and hopefully we can turn it around and entertain each other again.

Whats been goin on with me?
-I quit my job on Nov. 1st. The environment wasn't working for me. I can go into detail in a more private arena.
-I'm still searching for a job. I have had 3 or 4 interviews in the last week and a half which is awesome! I know! 2 of them went well so cross our fingers.
-Joey, my puppy, got his balls cut off. :) lol He is mad at me and living in KS currently.
-My mother is doing really well with her post-chemo stuff, except the other day she fell in the garage and broke her leg. Silly woman. She is fine now, but not really mobile at all. It could have been a lot worse the way she fell she is lucky.
-I am almost completely broke. Good news though, I just saved a bunch of money :) deferring my federal student loans for a year. YEAH! I'm awesome and I almost had you all fooled.

Well I live with Sara Withers and Lindsey harasses me. I just spoke with Kristin on the phone too. So... I can give you mini updates on them, but hopefully we'll all update for ourselves.

I love you all and miss you dearly.

If you have any freelance stuff, send it my way. Or job openings in the DSM area. I'd like to stay here sadly enough.

Love, Jen