Nightmares

I wonder if it's a sign of character or common sense, of devotion to ones self or desperation of one's soul that brings upon the nightmares that don't just scare you in your sleep but haunt you the following days.

I think the stress of life caught up with my dreams last night. I'd been doing pretty well with the lack of scariness and falling down elevator shafts. For those of you who don't know I am afraid of elevators that are in buildings taller than like 6 stories. I will get in them for some reason, but I pretend there's not as many floors. Anyway, I havent had those dreams lately which is good.

However last night I had the nightmare within a nightmare within a nightmare. Nothing extremely scary was happening. I think their was a creepy man and somehow I ended up outside at night in my pajamas chasing something (not entirely false because I do go out there to chase the dogs some nights). Anyway, they were the dreams that you wake up within another and then another and it all seems to be real and you wake up for real, have to convince your muscles they aren't paralyzed and you gotta get up to walk around so the sweat dries from your clothes or you just change clothes. I walked around trying to figure out what was real and what wasn't.

See the last few days I have been worried more than usual. I'm short for rent. My bills are piling up and I don't see a break in sight. I had to share my deep dark secret with another person today and had to build up the courage again. I didn't want to but it's never good to hide things. Then my mother broke her leg on Friday and I came home yesterday to help her. We went to the doctor today and she gets to have surgery on Wednesday. What a Thanksgiving! My cousin invited me to a birthday party and who knows if i can afford it. I know it would be fun. ::Sigh::

Life's not bad, just chaotic right now. My dad is so stressed out about everything I'm afraid he might just break down and crumble into pieces and the wind will just pick him up and float him away. I have to walk on egg shells or have felt I have lately. I dont know. I just don't know.

Some prayers for my parents would be nice. Again, I don't care what sort of God or thing you pray to, Happy thoughts for someone can't hurt.